My A is better than yours.

So, our law school is supposed to be one with the most competitive students in the nation. I heard this our first year here. I didn't really believe it. Most of the time I spent with my class was social. Instead of studying, we were hanging out in bars, or having marathons watching The Tudors or Supernatural, or at Lake Belton. There was never this sense of "I need to do better at the expense of this other person." We shared outlines, we shared cases. Everyone seemed pretty willing to help everyone out. Of course, there were a couple of outliers, but most people were decent human beings to one another. At least, as decent as you could be in law school.

Then this year there was a fundamental change. I'm not sure what to blame it on. Sure, there's this new hugely competitive class. But a lot of the more laid back old people left. I was suddenly not in classes with only my entering class, but was exposed to every other class in the law school. Also, a bunch of my really good friends were in the really competitive new class. But the competitiveness even flowed into my class. People were being crazy with their outlines. Every where there was a sense of panic.

In other words, the shit has hit the fan.

And maybe I'm stupid for thinking I could go to a professional school, especially one of the most competitive in the nation, that would allow me to blissfully maintain my "We can all succeed, yea for us!" attitude. I've never been very competitive, least of all in school. It's always come easily to me and I always was a fan of balancing fun and school, which usually put me in the slightly above mediocre range.

But the things I have seen lately make me sometimes wonder if I made the right choice in putting myself in such an environment. A couple of my friends and I have been discussing this and these are the problems we see.

Jealousy among the A's
In my opinion, if you get an A in law school, you should just be happy. And by just be happy, I mean shut the hell up. You are no longer allowed to complain "I can't believe this person got an A." Tough. They did. Just like you. Nor are you allowed to complain about how little they worked compared to you. You know what? Rule 13--life's tough. Some people don't have to work as hard to do as well. You should know this by now. Embrace it. Accept it. Worry about yourself and stop worrying about everyone else.

Fluke High A's
I have noticed that some of the people at the top of the class tend to let others who randomly do well or really get a class throw them off. "How the hell did SHE end up with a High A?" As a person who has had that sneered my way (just loud enough for me to hear), let me tell you--it is the only one I will ever get. I just got that class. Don't be upset with me for one little elective when you are raking in over $1200 a week at your big firm internship. You know what I'm doing this summer? Holding down two jobs and going to school. You will be out of debt faster than me. You will probably make partner faster than me. So stop allowing another person's shining moment to piss you off. No one wants to hear you complain when you practically have a desk with a name plaque waiting for you after graduation.

Allowing School to Define Your Life
Everyone knows one of these people. They have no concept of a balance in their lives. School rules everything in their universe. If they can't make it there, their lives are over. Honestly, I think this kind of mindset is a bunch of crap. We all know examples of people who have graduated with ridiculous GPAs and high honors and blah blah blah and their lives are freaking miserable. They hate their jobs, they don't have a social life, they're a slave to a man, the people they work with are too competitive to make real friends. I've known from day one that I wasn't going to allow law school to define my life. I'm not saying that it's not an important part of it--it is, and I am very happy with how I am doing (mostly because I have realistic expectations of myself). But I've always put more emphasis on human connection and the arts and really enjoying your life--my best memories aren't just breaking at regionals. They are moments spent on Lake Belton, wind whipping through my hair with great friends. Or painful mornings spent at Health Camp with my best friends recounting the night before. And I guess I'm really glad I have this balance because I see some people who let competitiveness infiltrate their friendships and poison them. And honestly, I don't think that someone doing better than you or having to do better than someone at something that really doesn't mean you're going to be a great lawyer is worth destroying a human relationship over. I'm not saying you can't want to do well--everyone wants to do well. But you don't have to be bitter when others do just as well or better than you. That's all.

So everyone, chill out. Take a breath. Take a second to re-evaluate your life. I jokingly told Michael Roberts once that the way I maintained my balance in school was I asked myself, "If I dropped dead tomorrow would I be pissed I spent this much time at the library?" It's actually a great way to live. Would I be pissed I spent so much time upset that douche next to me in class got the same grade as me? Think about that the next time you start to feel that competitive douche bag infiltrate your inner being.

Also, I wonder if our competitiveness would decline if the school funneled some funds into some onsite yoga? Just a thought.